Compassionate Psychotherapy
Rooted in Lived Wisdom
Welcome
I’m André Décary, a somatic psychotherapist offering individual therapy, couples counseling, and professional consultation in Berkeley, California.
My approach is grounded in deep listening, mindful awareness, and the understanding that meaningful change happens through relationship. Whether I’m working with individuals navigating personal challenges, couples seeking deeper connection, or professionals looking for thoughtful consultation, I aim to create a space that is supportive, honest, and attuned to the complexities of being human.
My Journey
I didn’t set out to become a therapist. My path was winding, shaped by years of seeking and transformation. Each chapter brought its own lessons—about the mind, the body, and what it means to be human.
In the 1970s, I lived in an ashram, became a swami, opened a yoga school, taught raja yoga, and later worked as a business consultant. While these roles were meaningful, I eventually realized I was teaching things I hadn’t yet fully embodied. I understood the principles, but not from lived experience—and that disconnect grew increasingly uncomfortable.
That inner dissonance eventually led to a breakdown. I came to a point where I didn’t need another teaching or philosophy—I needed a person. Someone who could meet me, human to human. That experience brought me to the world of psychology.
A Turning Point
Moving to California and studying somatic psychotherapy opened the door to a deeper understanding of how the mind and body interact—and, more personally, gave me a way to begin making sense of my own inner world. This is what ultimately led me to become a therapist.
It wasn’t that I had found all the answers—far from it. It was that I had finally found a path rooted in relationship, presence, and the real work of healing. I now bring the depth of those life experiences into the therapy room, offering clients not just techniques, but a grounded and compassionate presence to walk alongside them as they make sense of their own lives.
Suffering is Optional
One of the most important lessons I learned came from a teacher who said: “Pain is a given. Suffering can become optional.”
It took me over a decade to truly understand that suffering isn’t just a concept—it’s a process rooted in unconscious strategies, patterns of thought, and inherited ways of coping.
For example, I learned to manage my feelings in ways that protected me—but also distanced me from others. I was afraid to be open and vulnerable, so instead of sharing what I truly felt, I’d blame, placate, or dismiss. I couldn’t say, “I’m scared,” so I’d say, “What’s wrong with you?”
I longed for connection, yet pushed people away to protect myself. That was my suffering.
The Path to Freedom
When we begin to observe our minds, we often discover just how critical and reactive our inner world can be—and that realization can feel unsettling, even painful at first. But through mindful awareness, we learn to witness our thoughts, judgments, and fantasies with greater clarity. While it can be confronting to see the mind’s harsher tendencies, it’s also profoundly freeing.
Simple Truths I hold Close
Pain is part of life.
Suffering is optional.
Pain does not prevent joy—suffering does.
My Offering
I help clients distinguish between pain and suffering—between abstract ideas and lived experience. While we can’t always prevent suffering from arising, we can learn how to stop it from continuing. I help clients develop an empowered relationship with their mind, so they can recognize the patterns that create suffering, and support them in cultivating self-awareness that is both compassionate and grounded.
I feel deeply honored to work with both individuals and couples. Couples work holds a special kind of immediacy and depth. In individual therapy, clients often speak about how they suffer; in couples therapy, that suffering comes to life in the space between them. It’s in those moments—raw, vulnerable, and real—that healing can truly begin.
A guiding principle I carry comes from my mentor:
“You can’t be a seeker of truth.
Truth is always happening and always changing.
What you can do is recognize when you're not in truth—
and meet that recognition with dignity.”
